We've all been there. You're tearing out the door, mildly late, mildly sweaty in your pin-stripes. Arms laden with coffee, purse, lunch bag, backpack(s), packages to mail, change of clothes, etc., when you hear the cry. The alarm. The death knell: "Mommy, I have poopie." Why, oh why, does it always happen at this crucial moment of Morning Mania? Why can't toddler bowel movements be better timed? Either an hour before departure or any time after day care drop off? Don't you deserve a Poop Change Hall Pass sometimes? Alas, you are faced with THE Dilemma. Do you:
1.) Drop your load, leave the other kids screaming in the car, change the diaper, wash your hands, re-dress the kid, re-locate all of your belongings, put the kid in the car seat, root for your keys somewhere under the changing table, and craft creative excuses for your tardiness to your co-workers, or
2.) Give the kid a toy/goldfish/tree limb to occupy him/her, crack the car window , letting your child wallow in his own filth, and hastily change the diaper when you arrive at the day care("Oh darn, this must have happened in the parking lot!"), or
3.) Follow 2.), except when you arrive at the day care, settle your child in as if nothing is awry, making a swift exit before your evil plan of letting the caregivers handle the task is discovered.
I am going to invent something. A little light on your kid that grows brighter as the likelihood of a toilet necessity increases. It's just not fair that these incidents come with no warning. That way, you could gauge your departures based on the kid's level of luminosity.
"Honey, Don't start the car just yet. Junior's glowing like comet."
No comments:
Post a Comment