Nannygate

With my second birthing producing twins, we decided to go the nanny route for child care when I went back to work.  The thought of loading two infants, with all of their accoutrements (formula, bottles, diapers, cream, linens, and changes of clothes) during the mad a.m. rush seemed like a prescription for disaster.  Handing over the reins to a (hopefully) competent adult while the babies were still wearing their pajamas seemed like a much less stressful route.  So we searched, we lobbied, we screened, we interviewed, we test-drove, and we finally decided on a lady to leave all alone in our home for 9 hours a day with our infant twins.  She came recommended from a colleague, and our profession lends itself to scrutiny, skepticism, and casting an extremely critical eye.  She seemed ebullient, competent, and eager.  We thought we made a sound decision. Right?

The wheels fell off of the deal after about 6 months.  Not in her handling of the children, but the handling of us.  She was irate about having to work on Good Friday.  She was indignant, and huffed and puffed and muttered under her breath.  Jeez, I had to work too, did she think I was happy about that?  Wouldn’t I rather be at home, eating non-meat products and dyeing eggs with the kids?  Our relationship went downhill from there.   She constantly asked us to “front” her money.  She became aggravated when her pay was not clipped to the calendar first thing Friday morning.  She was bothered when we didn’t do more to help her look for an apartment. She got upset when my husband moved the NutriGrain bars to another cabinet in the kitchen.    She took this as severe affront.  Finally, we had to let her go, with no concrete child care plan.  Her “drama” became too much to handle. We had four kids; we didn’t need to be at the emotional whims of yet another person.  Soon after, we received a package in the mail with no return address. She had sent back every card, every picture, every gift, every what-not we had given her during her tenure.  How could she?  We welcomed her into our family, it didn’t work out, but how could she be so hurtful?   

Despite the crushing fact that we had no child care, I berated myself for my failure as Home Administrator. I’m a working gal, I should have been able to “manage” her better.  I have supervised numerous people in my job.  I have always gotten along with, and motivated, my subordinates. I think I have done well supervising other females, especially.  I could not grasp why this relationship did not work out.  I am used to working through conflicts at my job, and despite the weekly “summits” we’d have with her when we’d sense her discontent, the situation just did not get any better.  The common goal of caring for our precious children was not enough to bring us together as employer-employee.  My ego took a smacking. 

My husband tried to convince me that the situation was far beyond my capacity as Nanny Manager, as she had her own agenda, regardless of our efforts.  But I still wish I could have salvaged the relationship in some way. That unmarked package sucked.