I have come to realize that I will have to actually double my time off from work whenever I plan a vacation. For example, if I plan a 5-day vacation, I can count on at least 5 more days after that where I will be not present at work. I am not talking the I-wish-I-was-still-at-the-beach/mountains/lake-relaxing-rather-than-this-wretched-indoor-torture-chamber “not present” feeling after a vacation, but actually, really, physically not present at the office after a vacation. That’s because the Evil Eye that punishes Angry Working Mothers for making the silly mistake of assuming paid days off are for leisure, rather than for taking kids to the doctor or waiting at home for the dishwasher repair guy, will always have the last word when it comes to your vacation time.
Example:
Mon-Fri: Actual vacation days. Not present at work. May be even relaxing or enjoying self.
Following Monday, you return to office: Work til noon, and the school calls to tell you your kid has a fever. Blame nasty airplane air. Blame junk food eaten on vacation. Blame all you want, its the Evil Eye. Go get kid and go home. Have the “my job is more crucial than your job” fight with husband. Decide to split the next day.
Tuesday: Stay home til 1, then go into work when husband comes home. Kid #2 comes down with fever in p.m.
Wednesday: Stay home with both kids. Weep openly. Pray there isn’t a “For Rent” sign in your office by now.
Thursday: Take Kid #3 to dentist appointment that has been scheduled for months in the a.m. Look eager and competent during your afternoon at work (with Kid #3 there with you, as you took him out of school for the appointment).
Friday: You wake up with fever, graciously donated from kids. Call in sick. Would sob openly, but hurts head too much.
Evil Eye always gets the last word. Be afraid. Be very afraid. And plan accordingly.
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